He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
