Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
