Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
