Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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