Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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