i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
