Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
