Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
