I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
