I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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