btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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