I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
