worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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