She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
