Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
