he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
