so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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