at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize