she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
