On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
