She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
