I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
