Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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