I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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