K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
