all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
