There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's like a pop up book from hell.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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