dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
