Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
