we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize