Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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