i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
