I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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