I'm laying in your front yard are you home
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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