I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
