are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
