Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
