i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
