I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
