So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
