I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
