Are my feet made of real feet?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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