Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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