"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
