4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think people are normalizing furries
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