i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
