U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
