First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
