hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize