I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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