At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize