wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
