I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
