She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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