Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize