ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
