Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
