when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize