That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
