There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
