drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
