I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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