I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
