we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
