So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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