Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
