We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
