You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
