garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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