I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
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