hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize