She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
